i have failed countless number of times throughout the course. i was given the opportunity again and again. but to avail. i didn't make it to a local varsity, made a dunce cap for myself, squandered money foolishly on a few occasions and lost the trust of everyone. but because i have done so, i am successful today - is it a belief worth gulping down today?

nah, better off being an unsuccessful toy thank you.

HOLIDAY OH HOLIDAY.

vampire's contra is out oh gosh!

just got them at landspeed records, very catchy tunes i must say. love 'em.

haha love you bitch.

we must understand that with capitalism ushers the advent of suffering and pain in us. such that this so-called holistic idea of the lassez faire system ultimately ruins our well-being. now it appears that this ' invisible hand ' unleashes such mighty strength that it threatens to strangle the weak. the division between the wealthy and the poor just never cease to expand at such rapid rates. why the need to be industrious with the texts and notes to be the best? meritocracy at best leads to the manifestation of widespread elitism. it is important to live to the very fullest based on what each and every one of us enjoy doing most with utmost pleasure. but rankings and hierarchy amongst the type of occupations is a seemingly huge deterrent to us. a hybrid form of communism must arise. every single citizen should be handsomely paid for what they love doing at best. the pockets must jingle for us humans to be satisfied. if everyone enjoys what they do best, then there is no reason why anyone should be lazy. but everyone must work together hand in hand. there is absolutely no need for any form of cult of personality. but free enterprise should also be allowed. after all catering to the citizen's need is one of the standing pillars of good governance.

2ND WEEK.

this place is awesome.

but the price tag on it just puts me off.

i simple love the uber-thick investments text on my desk.

it's better to read it then to go out and pull a long face.

DOTS.

i found the summer a little disturbing.

why can't we get along and settle down as normal buddies? i remembered you making that resolution. you mouthed it. yet , it doesn't seem to take form. shouldn't the ugly past be left behind and shoved deep underneath?

i was silent. i was observing, the laughter and warmth, why can't the same happen? i've heard so much about you, but i don't really care. at all. i don't wish to judge you and still value you as a good buddy as the rest of them. after all it's a sparkling new year and history should best be classified as history. you shouldn't be worried whether i still have lingering residual thoughts of chasing you again whatsoever , because i don't have any in my possession . if it's over, it is over. and sadly, the situation is as stale as ever. it's like being trapped in a spiraling black hole.

and life back in singapore isn't any better either. after what i saw.

when will i ever catch a glimpse of any signs of hope?

if only a time machine exists.

oh whatever.

" " YEARS AGO.

10 years ago, i celebrated the millennium and made my fresh entry into secondary school in smart white and had my first crush ever.

5 years ago, i sat for my last ever attempt on a national examination.

4 years ago, i took my step into the rite of passage for all males. heads shaven, all decked on green.

2 years ago, i landed myself into unfamiliar territory and commenced university.

not exactly the most happening decade i ever had.

NEW , EVERYTHING NEW?

wow, whee and whoosh i'm back in berra.

1 year has passed again so quickly.